


The Way to December

by TeaRoses



Category: Trigun
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-08
Updated: 2013-01-08
Packaged: 2017-11-24 03:57:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/630130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeaRoses/pseuds/TeaRoses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How much does it take to forget?</p>
<p>Originally written for springkink on LiveJournal, for the prompt: "Trigun, Meryl/Vash: age/species/Oedipal issues - She's not sure she's strong enough to carry all his baggage."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Way to December

“My name is Mary,” she told the man across the table. He only nodded, because he had no way of knowing she wasn’t quite truthful. His eyes were green, though there wasn’t quite enough blue in them, and his hair was only a shade lighter.

When he said his name she wasn’t even listening and had to ask him to repeat it. “Daniel.” Very ordinary, which suited Meryl just fine. Ordinary was exactly what she was looking for. He had a nice smile, fake in the way that ordinary smiles are fake, and if he was hiding any deep secrets she certainly couldn’t tell.

“My job? I’m an actuary,” she told him. It was good to be back in the city, doing what she had always done. She was probably the closest thing to a city girl that Gunsmoke had.

“I’m an accountant,” he said. Meryl thought about that for a moment. Accountants worked with a pen and paper, maybe an adding machine. Daniel had probably never fired a gun, and he had no reason to worry that in his job he would end up killing someone. An accountant could end up with some kind of moral dilemma, Meryl supposed. But Daniel looked like he slept at night. She was pretty sure he didn’t wake up at all hours, wild-eyed and panting from nightmares of the dead.

Meryl asked a few more silly pointless questions. Daniel was single, which was most of the point, and he was thirty-eight years old. That sounded like the right age – old enough to know better, but still young enough not to worry. Daniel didn’t have a hundred years of memories following him. Even when he had been a child, he couldn’t have met anyone who remembered Earth. She could buy him a drink and hear his stories, because they wouldn’t be about horrors or the lost past of the universe. He didn’t know all the struggles that had once happened even here on Gunsmoke.

She said something about her family, lying as much as it suited her, just so she could hear about his. Daniel’s father had passed away but his mother was still alive. Meryl could picture her, a dignified gray-haired woman who had raised a responsible son. He smiled when he spoke of her but she lived in another city and must have cut the apron strings long ago. It was pleasant to look into Daniel’s green eyes and know that he wasn’t seeking his own lost mother in her face, that he wasn’t—

“Another drink?” Daniel asked her, interrupting her thoughts.

“A small one,” she said.

Now she began to fill the empty space with small talk. She wanted to hear laughter that wasn’t an escape, a joke with no edge of hysteria, and Daniel provided it all. He was probably hoping to go home with her at the end of the evening, and that would be fine too. A little fun with someone who had the same heartbeat she did, who didn’t startle with inhuman reflexes in the middle of the night, who didn’t constantly have to be reminded that he was as human as she was -- because in this case it was really true.

“Would you like to go for a walk?” he asked her. “There’s a moon out.”

Meryl looked out the window. There it was, the fifth moon, and that damn hole in it. And of course now she realized that Daniel actually wasn’t going to help her forget. Pleasant words that were exactly as meaningless as she wanted them to be weren’t going to work.

“Look, I’m really sorry, but I have to go,” she said. “I’ll pay for the drinks.”

“Hey, it’s all right,” he said as he stacked double-dollars on the table. “Thanks for the conversation.” He looked a little sad, but gave her another smile. There was probably something behind that smile after all, and something more to Daniel, but Meryl wasn’t going to find that out either.

She tried not to look up at the moon as she walked home, told herself to just undress and go to bed and stop thinking so damn much. But the knock on the door came before she even had time to take her coat off, and she opened it without need to ask.

“Hi.” Vash gave her one of his silly little waves as she leaned against the door frame.

“Come in,” she said with a sigh.

He sat in the chair by the typewriter and looked at her. “Mary Strike? You weren’t even trying.”

Meryl sat down on the bed. “I guess not.”

Vash walked over and held out his arms, and she embraced him, feeling the leather of the coat under her face and wishing she hadn’t missed this so much.

“Come home,” he said. 

“Give me a good reason,” she muttered.

“I’ll change?” he asked tentatively.

“Don’t lie,” she said, clenching her fists on his back. “You don’t know how. You don’t even understand what’s wrong.”

“All right, I won’t change,” he said, surprising her just a little. “But will you come home anyway?”

She didn’t answer, because they both knew what was going to happen, just like always.

“I made it all the way to December this time…” she said into his chest.

He stroked her hair with his flesh hand and pulled her tight against him. “Yeah. You’re a tough woman.”


End file.
